domingo, 10 de enero de 2010

Should the heart multitask?

I have changed so much over the years, or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say that life has changed me. There was a time in which I would have not dared to utter the question that titles this post. Today, I am not only capable of uttering it, I am starting to believe that in some situations, the heart must learn to multitask in order to snap out a failed romance.

My heart is very stubborn. It always loves longer than it should -to say the least. So what did I do when it became fixed on someone that no longer loved me, or perhaps never did? I, like all romantic/idealistic creatures, just stayed home and cried over a lost love. I just waited for the storm to pass.

The latest of such storms came about somewhere around the end of June last year. It was, probably, the most intense storm that my heart has had to endure. It was so for many reasons: I was madly in love, it was unexpected, and sadly, I never got "the talk" that normally comes with a break-up. I was with someone one day, and the next, he was gone from my life. To this day, I am haunted by the possible causes of his unexpected withdrawal. I have come to the conclusion that his silence and disappearance meant that there was much more to his story than what he shared with me.

After I cried my heart out for months, on October 25th I decided that I was not going to waste anymore time caught up in such a pathetic situation. I convinced my reluctant self to be proactive in the healing of my heart. What I did next shocked me to my bones: I signed up for a dating site for the first time in my life. I did not know I would ever do that...C'est la vie.

If I judge my progress by the fact that I am still single -and at times lonely- I might conclude that it was an useless endeavor. However, having allowed myself to date, did help me to bounce back. And, more importantly, in doing so, I have allowed myself the possibility of meeting someone new who may spark my interest, and perhaps, eventually steals my heart. For now, it's just wait and see.

5 comentarios:

  1. When we are in a relationship for a long time, after a break-up, we suffer because of "love"... is all the wonderful things that happened that makes us cry over the person we knew for such time.

    When we are in a relationship as short as you describe in this post, after a break-up, we suffer because of "infatuation"... is all the wonderful things that never happened and we expected that haunt us that makes us cry over the person we never had the chance to know.

    Everything is like that when it comes to the heart. It takes time, but you'll soon discover that this was only a little stone on the path to finding that one person that will steal your heart! If is a big stone on that path, then you need to find closure before you move on!!! Best wishes from an anonimo!

  2. I just don't know anymore, but thanks Anónimo for your good wishes :). Have a nice day!

  3. Sharing is caring!

    Thanks for letting us know what life is all about. The ups and downs, the rise and fall to go up again...
    It's really encouraging and inspiring because with your example we don't feel alone with our failures and misfortunes; they are not more different than yours.

  4. Hi Fer,
    I don't know if sharing my experiences helps anyone...that is not the intention when I post them here... it's in fact, a very selfish act... it's all about me... It is a cathartic exercise, even when I can only talk about such personal events when they are in the past... But, it is true that we all share our dose of failures and misfortunes, that is inevitable... what matters in the end is what we do with those experiences :-). Did we grow as individual, or did we allow them to sink us to the bottomless void? I want to think that we learn, then move on -of course, only to find new ones LOL.

    Thanks for reading

  5. I'm anonymous to prevent misunderstandings but just wanted to say you are a beautiful woman, body and mind. I can't understand why you haven't been taken by a lucky man.