I have changed so much over the years, or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say that life has changed me. There was a time in which I would have not dared to utter the question that titles this post. Today, I am not only capable of uttering it, I am starting to believe that in some situations, the heart must learn to multitask in order to snap out a failed romance.
My heart is very stubborn. It always loves longer than it should -to say the least. So what did I do when it became fixed on someone that no longer loved me, or perhaps never did? I, like all romantic/idealistic creatures, just stayed home and cried over a lost love. I just waited for the storm to pass.
The latest of such storms came about somewhere around the end of June last year. It was, probably, the most intense storm that my heart has had to endure. It was so for many reasons: I was madly in love, it was unexpected, and sadly, I never got "the talk" that normally comes with a break-up. I was with someone one day, and the next, he was gone from my life. To this day, I am haunted by the possible causes of his unexpected withdrawal. I have come to the conclusion that his silence and disappearance meant that there was much more to his story than what he shared with me.
After I cried my heart out for months, on October 25th I decided that I was not going to waste anymore time caught up in such a pathetic situation. I convinced my reluctant self to be proactive in the healing of my heart. What I did next shocked me to my bones: I signed up for a dating site for the first time in my life. I did not know I would ever do that...C'est la vie.
If I judge my progress by the fact that I am still single -and at times lonely- I might conclude that it was an useless endeavor. However, having allowed myself to date, did help me to bounce back. And, more importantly, in doing so, I have allowed myself the possibility of meeting someone new who may spark my interest, and perhaps, eventually steals my heart. For now, it's just wait and see.