miércoles, 24 de enero de 2007
Misión cumplida
El viernes me presenté al examen sin haber dormido nada porque me pasé la noche en vela tratando de terminar todo el material. Estaba bastante bien preparada, pero en el momento que me entregaron el examen, lo miré, y me dije es mejor que lo entregue, y me vaya. Esto es humanamente imposible. Me quedé congelada como por unos diez o quince minutos... Al otro lado de mi escritorio, estaba la directora del programa. Haber abandonado aquel salón, hubiera sido un insulto para la mujer que un día al leer mi solicitud pensó que yo merecía ser parte del programa. Entendí que irme no era una opción, y me convencí de que yo estaba preparada para el examen. Después de la auto-terapia, me calmé; y me di cuenta de que sí podía contestar las preguntas. Empecé a escribir mis ensayos, y terminé antes de lo rpevisto. Entregué el examen, y salí a comer. Luego, me fui a la biblioteca a terminar un artículo que no había terminado. A las dos volví como corderito al matadero, y me dispuse a tomar el resto del examen.
Al salir de la universidad, sentí que había dejado una enorme carga allí dentro. Estaba muy contenta, y me sentía satisfecha con mi rendimiento; pero la alegría me duró como dos horas solamente, luego volví a la realidad de que el lunes tenía que pasar por la misma tortura. No tengo que decirles que el lunes fue una copia del viernes: las preguntas indecifrables, los nervios, las ganas de largarme y al final un sentimiento de felicidad total.
Ya todo terminó. Me siento confiada en que salí muy bien, aunque no he recibido la notificación oficial del comité calificador. Sé que será positiva, y por lo tanto, he decidido que me merezco un premio. Así es que, me voy a la Florida de fin de semana. No hay nada como el sol para devolverme la energía; aunque desafortunadamente, sólo sera un pequeño paréntesis antes de que comience el próximo semestre. Pondré mi mayor empeño en divertirme y pasarmelo de lo mejor.
¡Gracias por los emails y mensajes de apoyo!
domingo, 21 de enero de 2007
Reflejo
¿Por qué me buscas en ese abismo?
No ves que su reflexión es falsa,
que es tan sólo una ilusión:
Una realidad deformada.
El espejo siempre miente;
Húyele que te engaña,
¡Esa no puedo ser yo!
A mí, búscame en mis palabras,
de espalda a la realidad física;
inventándome una vida,
anhelando una respuesta;
Mis palabras son siempre búsqueda,
y mi ser es el trayecto,
¿Por qué me buscas en el espejo?
¡Esa, jamás seré yo!
lunes, 15 de enero de 2007
Let's Remember THE DREAM
"I HAVE A DREAM" (1963)
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But 100 years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men - yes, black men as well as white men - would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice. We have also come to his hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end but a beginning. Those who hoped that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "for whites only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today my friends - so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification - one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day, this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning "My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my father's died, land of the Pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring!"
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi - from every mountainside.
Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring - when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children - black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics - will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Distribution statement: Accepted as part of the Douglass Archives of American Public Address (http://douglass.speech.nwu.edu) on May 26, 1999. Prepared by D. Oetting (http://nonce.com/oetting).
Permission is hereby granted to download, reprint, and/or otherwise redistribute this file, provided this distribution statement is included and appropriate point of origin credit is given to the preparer and Douglass.
Martin Luther King with school children, 1966. Image downloaded from ARTstor Digital Library, 1/6/2006.
lunes, 8 de enero de 2007
Ya me decidí: tomaré mi primer examen
Sentía que todo se me venía encima. Trabajo y estudio a jornada completa, y para colmos de males soy perfeccionista por naturaleza -lo que es una maldición. Los seres humanos somos por naturaleza imperfectos, eso lo sé y lo acepto; pero no soy capaz de dar algo por terminado hasta que estoy convencida de que es lo mejor que he podido dar. Estoy consciente de que esto puede ser tanto una virtud como un defecto.
Mi confusión radicaba en la falta de tiempo, y el cansancio que aún siento por las noches de desvelo y el estrés del semestre que acaba de terminar. En medio de la indecisión acepté que lo mejor era darme unos días para dormir, comer bien, escuchar música, compartir con amigos y caminar para relajarme.
Por experiencias anteriores sé que este método es infalible: me alejo del problema, me concentro en recargar mi energía. Luego, observo el problema desde afuera y puedo ser un tanto más objetiva.
El pasado viernes decidí que tomaría el examen. Tengo que preparar unos seis libros, más toda la crítica literaria que sobre ellos me ha pedido el comité calificador. Sólo tengo unas dos semanas para preparar el material, y no sé si tendré tiempo suficiente para cubrirlo todo; por lo pronto, este fin de semana me puse las pilas y me leí un libro y la mitad de otro; ayer pasé la tarde en la biblioteca buscando un material que necesitaba.
La primera parte del examen será el 19 y la segunda el 22 de enero. Cada día tendré 4 horas para contestar, en forma ensayística, las preguntas que me hagan. Si no me siento lista para presentar el examen lo puedo presentar en agosto -aunque francamente en verano prefiero estar enl a playa. ¡Ya veremos!
Independientemente de lo que pase, me quedará la satisfacción de haberlo intentado.
jueves, 4 de enero de 2007
Blog de la BBC
El pasado diciembre Matía nos dio una grata sorpresa: nos invitó a colaborar con él en una historia navideña. El escribió los primeros dos párrafos, y luego sus lectores fuimos añadiendo los nuestros. La historia fue siguiendo el curso que cada uno de nosotros quiso darle, al momento de escribir nuestros dos párrafos; lo interesante fue que nadie leyó la historia completa antes de que se publicara, y por lo tanto el final sería una sorpresa. La única que leyó la historia en su totalidad fui yo, debido a que me tocó concluirla.
El haber escrito esta historia en colaboración con otros blogueros, fue una experiencia estimulante. Todos unidos por la historia de Ana y Antonio a través un blog. Pasen y lean la historia, y juzguen por ustedes mismos. Aquí añado los vínculos para que puedan leerla. Esta se publicó en dos ediciones: La primera parte y la segundaparte . Espero que la disfruten tanto como los que colaboramos en su creación.
Imagen: Ahora cuéntame tú